For years, Mona “Hatchet-Face” Malnorowski had eyes for Wade “Crybaby” Walker. When he hooked up with square and good girl, Allison, Hatchet-Face was jealous and did everything she could to turn Crybaby’s eyes toward her. As Hatchet-Face pulls out all the stops to make Crybaby love her, an unfortunate accident happens that severely injures Allison. Will Hatchet-Face win Crybaby’s love, or will he be forever bound to Allison?
Wade “Crybaby” Walker: Johnny Depp
Allison Vernon-Williams: Amy Locane
Pepper Walker: Ricki Lake
Wanda Woodward: Traci Lords
Mona ‘Hatchet-Face’ Malnorowski: Kim McGuire
Milton Hackett: Darren E. Burrows
Allison’s party for her boyfriend, Crybaby Walker, was in full swing. Allison Vernon-Williams wanted to do something special for Crybaby to show how much she loved him. But one person always came between them. . .Mona “Hatchet-Face” Malnorowski. She had been in love with Crybaby ever since their junior high days.
“Doesn’t Crybaby and Allison make a great couple?” Pepper asks Hatchet-Face, who is staring at Crybaby and Allison.
“Hello?” Pepper prods Hatchet-Face. “Earth to Hatchet-Face. Are you there?”
“Huh?” Hatchet-Face jumps. “What did you say, Pepper?”
“I asked you if Crybaby and Allison make a great couple?”
“Yes. . .yes, they do.” Hatchet-Face says sadly.
“Why couldn’t Crybaby notice her?: Hatchet-Face asked herself, as she looked forlornly at the happy couple.
Hatchet-Face did everything she could think of to get Crybaby to notice her. How she wanted to be his girl for so long. But every time Crybaby broke up with one of the girls in their gang, The Drapes, Hatchet-Face got her hopes up that she would be together with Crybaby.
It really hurt when Crybaby hooked up with Allison Vernon-Williams, a Square, and the girlfriend of a Square.
“Pepper, what does Crybaby see in that Allison?” Hatchet-Face asked her.
“Who knows?” Pepper said. “It must be the ‘opposites attract’ syndrome.”
As Hatchet-Face walked off to go home, it hit Pepper. “Hatchet-Face is in love with her brother.” For the first time in months, Pepper knew why Hatchet-Face disliked Allison so much.
Milton found Hatchet-Face at the lake next to their favorite spot, wondering why she never showed for their date.
“Babe, why did you ditch me at the restaurant?” Milton said, putting his arms around her.
“I’m sorry, Milt.” Hatchet-Face lied. “I had something to do.”
“That’s okay.” Milton said, giving Hatchet-Face a tender kiss.
As Hatchet-Face let Milton kiss her, she couldn’t help thinking about Cry-Baby kissing her. She wanted so badly to tell Cry-Baby, but she was afraid to tell him and have him reject her. She harbored a crush on Cry-Baby for so long. . .since they were in grade school. Settling on Milton’s love, Hatchet-Face secretly watched Cry-Baby give his live to Allison.
While Milton and Hatchet-Face were alone by the lake, Hatchet-Face thought she heard a familiar face near by. Slowly inching closer to the voice without alerting Milton, Hatchet-Face eavesdropped on the the voice as she let Milton kiss and grope her, Hatchet-Face realized the voice was Allison with someone else.
After Milton drove Hatchet-Face home, Hatchet-Face couldn’t believe that Allison was cheating on Cry-Baby. She wondered if she should keep quiet or tell Cry-Baby? It certainly would break up Allison and Cry-Baby, but no, she wouldn’t tell Cry-Baby. Hatchet-Face would devise a scheme so Allison would be forced to tell Cry-Baby herself.
Hatchet-Face dialed Pepper to put her plan in motion.
“Hello?” Pepper asked, picking up the phone.
“Pepper?” Hatchet-Face began. “Can you plan a party in honor of Cry-Baby and Allison?”
“Again?” Pepper asked, confused. “They just had one?”
“Well, make it a ‘end of school fling’ in honor of Cry-Baby and Allison.” Hatchet-Face said, trying to come up with a reason.
“Yeah, I’ll come up with a party.” Pepper promised.
“Can you have it arranged by week’s end?”
“That’s a little soon, isn’t it?”
“C’mon, Pepper, you can do it!” Hatchet-Face encouraged her.
“Okay. I’ll have something arranged.”
“Thank you, Pepper. I knew you’d come through.” Hatchet-Face said gratefully.
As Hatchet-Face hung up, she couldn’t wait to spring her little surprise on Allison at the party.
The day of the party was here and Mona couldn’t wait to spring her surprise on Allison at the party.
When Mona showed up, the party was in full swing as guests were dancing to Crybaby crooning to his girlfriend, Allison. As soon as Crybaby and and his band stopped singing, Mona walked onstage to make her presentation.
“Ladies and gentlemen!” Mona announced. “I want to take this time to show you some slides of our favorite couple, Crybaby and Allison, and congratulate them on their one-year anniversary together as a couple.”
The guests cheered the happy couple. When the crowd quieted down, Mona went on with her presentation of the couple, commenting on slides of Crybaby and Allison during their first year as a couple.
As the end of the presentation drew to a close, Mona made a heart-felt speech, wishing Crybaby and Allison well in their relationship.
Then Mona clicked the last slide to show Allison and Baldwin kissing in the scene.
Mona got the reaction she wanted after showing the last slide of Allison and Baldwin obviously cheating Crybaby.
Crybaby was so ashamed to discover that Allison would cheat on him with her square boyfriend, Baldwin, he grabbed Allison’s hand and pulled the ring off Allison’s hand.
Then he hopped on his motorcycle and drove off, leaving Allison horrified at what Mona revealed to the guests.
While Mona was packing up her slides after the guests left the party, Allison confronted Mona.
“How could you show that slide!” Allison berated Mona.
“What do you mean?” Mona asked in a sweet-as-saccharine voice.
“Did you want Crybaby to breakup with me?”
“Whatever do you mean?” Mona asked innocently.
“I don’t understand, Mona! You really are what your nickname suggests. No wonder you got stuck with ‘Hatchet-Face?’ “
“What did I do?”
“I thought you got the nickname because of your looks, but now I see it’s because of your wicked nature!”
“I was just showing Crybaby for the cheating slut you really are!” Mona retorted.
“Now I see what you’re doing?” Allison said, suddenly realizing the real reason Mona did what she did.
“What the hell are you talking about?!”
“You’re in love with Crybaby!” Allison accused her, remembering the conversation she overheard with the inmates from Crybaby’s days in juvie hall.
“I am not in love with Crybaby!” Mona lied. “I am dating Milton.”
“Ha! What does that prove!”
“It’s proves that I’m not in love with Crybaby!” Mona continued to lie.
Just then Pepper walked up after overhearing the heated discussion between Mona and Allison.
“What seems to be the matter here?” Pepper inquired.
“Mona is in love with Crybaby and purposely set out to destroy my relationship with him so she could be with him instead.” Allison accused Mona.
“I did not!” Mona said, in defense to her bestie, Pepper, giving her a wink.
“Mona is not in love with Crybaby.” Pepper said, defending her friendship with Mona, but knowing full well, Allison was right.
“Well, I see who’s side you’re on, Pepper!” Allison said in a huff, as she walked away, not wanting to continue the discussion any longer.
After Allison left, Pepper confronted Mona.
“Allison is right, isn’t she, Mona?”
“Yes, she is!”
“I want Crybaby to be mine, so I set all this up to break them up.”
“Do you really think Crybaby will be yours after what you’ve done?”
“I only hope so.”
“Well, if I know my brother, he’ll leave Allison, but he’ll despise you for what you did!” Pepper told her.
Pepper left Mona with her thoughts, knowing full well, Pepper was probably right, but hoping and praying she was wrong.
While Hatchet-Face was working on her plan to break up Allison and Cry Baby, Milton was also busy planning a romantic night for his girlfriend.
But meanwhile, Allison finds Cry Baby sitting at their favorite spot at the lake.
“Crybaby?” Allison says, tapping Crybaby on the shoulder, interrupting his thoughts. “Can we talk?”
“I have nothing to say.” Cry Baby says, turning away from her.
“Please, Cry Baby, hear me out.” Allison pleads. “That photo Hatchet-Face showed in her slide was taken out of context.”
“Oh really, Allison?!” Cry Baby retorts. “I saw two ex-lovers hugging each other.”
“But you don’t know the whole story.” Allison continues.
“Save it, Allison.” Cry Baby spits out. “I want nothing to do with you!”
Cry Baby leaves Allison there alone at the lake. Allison just wanted the chance to explain the real reason she was in Baldwin’s arms: that she was just showing some comfort and support to him when he found out his mother was in an accident. She never wanted Baldwin back. Cry Baby was all she thought about. If only Cry Baby would have just listened to her.
Mona was furious when she saw Allison with Cry Baby. She didn’t like the idea of Allison cozying up to Cry Baby. Cry Baby should be with her, not Allison.
“So, Allison, trying to beg your way into Cry Baby’s heart!” Mona said, sarcastically.
“Why shouldn’t I?” Allison retorted. “I love Cry Baby. He’s all I ever want!”
“Pshaw!” Mona said, rolling her eyes at Allison. “You’re just a snobby rich goody two-shoes! You’re not even in Cry Baby’s league!”
“You showed that photo out of spite!” Allison threw back at her.
“Oh go back to Baldwin! He’s more your type!”
Mona’s spat with Allison was ruined by Milton showing up to surprise Mona with a romantic night for the two of them.
“Milton?” Mona said, surprised by his sudden arrival.
“Baby, I wanted to surprise you with a romantic dinner!” Milton said.
Caught off-guard, Mona kissed Milton, as Allison rolled her eyes at the sight of the two kissing. She couldn’t believe that Mona was getting such a romantic guy after her actions at the party for Cry Baby. Mona didn’t deserve it.
“Well, I’m going to leave you two lovebirds alone.” Allison said, walking away and leaving Mona and Milton in a clinch.
“Just watch your back, Mona! You’re not going to get away with what you did!” Allison said under her breath.
Mona was surprised by Milton’s romantic dinner. She wasn’t in the mood for it. She wanted Cry Baby and her only goal was to get him away from Allison. How she loathed Allison. What did he ever see in the rich snooty snob!
“Mona, what’s wrong?” Milton asked when he saw that she was a million miles away.
“Nothing, Milton dear.” Mona lied. But all she could think about was Cry Baby and her plan to have him all to herself.
Milton leaned in to kiss Mona, Mona called out Cry Baby’s name.
“What the hell?!” Milton said, as he backed away from Mona.
“Oh, dear, Milton, I’m so sorry!” Mona apologized, not believing that she could have done what she did.
“Are you into Cry Baby?” Milton demanded.
“No, Milton baby.” Mona said, trying to convince him, but it was too late. Milton saw right through his girlfriend.
“We’re through!” Milton said, as he tore off on his bike, leaving Mona alone.
Mona sat there happy that Milton now knew, but truly sorry for hurting him. It couldn’t be helped though. She was in love with Cry Baby.
Meanwhile, Cry Baby made his way over to Allison’s place.
“Cry Baby, say you don’t love her?” Allison pleaded with him.
“Love who?” Cry Baby asked confused.
“Hatchet-Face.” Allison said.
“You think I have a thing for Hatchet-Face?” Cry Baby laughed. “Allison, Hatchet-Face and I are just friends. What gave you the idea we were anything more?”
“I don’t know.” Allison said, thinking about her conversation with Mona.
Cry Baby leaned in to kiss Allison to reassure her that he was not, nor was he ever into Hatchet-Face.
Just then, Cry Baby and Allison’s kiss was interrupted when Milton tore the two of them apart and took a swing at Cry Baby, knocking him flat on the ground.
“That’s for stealing Mona’s heart away from me!” Milton yelled at Cry Baby, as Cry Baby rubbed his jaw where Milton slugged him.
“Not you too!” Cry Baby yelled back at him. “Why does everyone think I have a thing for Hatchet-Face?”
“Just stay away from my Mona!” Milton warned Cry Baby.
Allison nursed Cry Baby’s sore jaw with a tender kiss as Pepper walked by.
“Hey you two lovebirds.” Pepper called out.
“Pepper, why does Milton think I have a thing for his girl?” Cry Baby asked her.
“I don’t know.” Pepper lied, knowing that Mona had been hatching a scheme to win her brother’s heart.
“Well, if you find out anything, will you let me know, sis?” Cry Baby asked her.
“Yes.” Was all Pepper could say.
As Cry Baby walked off with Allison after she gave him another chance, Pepper had to have a talk with Mona about her plot to break up her brother and Allison.
“Mona, we need to talk.” Pepper told her when Pepper found her studying in the school courtyard at lunch.
“Oh, Pepper, can it wait?” Mona asked. “Big test in history after lunch and I didn’t study.”
“Too busy trying to break up my brother and Allison?” Pepper asked.
“How’d ya guess?”
“Because Milton socked my brother in the jaw because he got the impression that Cry Baby wanted you.”
“Really?” Mona said, smiling.
“Yes.” Pepper replied. “You have got to stop with your fantasy about being with my brother.”
“Okay.” Mona lied to Pepper. “I give up on Cry Baby. I can see he’s still in love with Allison.”
“Thank you.” Pepper said with relief.
After Pepper walked off to her math class, Mona closed her history book. She wasn’t studying anyway. How could she? She was too busy trying to get Cry Baby to notice her. And the plus was that Milton was jealous. Her plan was working perfectly. The truth was, she was never in love with Cry Baby. She just wanted Milton to pay attention to her.
Milton couldn’t see Mona’s need for affection. And she tried everything to get Milton to pay attention to her. All she wanted was to be in Milton’s arms. Milton was the love of her life. But he refused to be with her. And she needed some love from Milton. So she concocted a plot to make it look like she was in love with Cry Baby.
Mona was at her locker the next day when she saw Milton in the hall.
“Now is the time?” Mona said to herself. She just had to make Milton jealous.
“Welll, here goes!” Mona said again, to herself, as she headed over to Cry Baby’s locker and made the moves on him.
“Cry Baby!” Mona called out just loud enough to get Milton’s attention. “Kiss me!”
Cry Baby looked at Mona as if she was crazy. Milton was leaving. She had to do something. And now.
Mona did the unthinkable as she pulled Cry Baby into her arms and kissed him full on the lips. Cry Baby was so shocked, but Mona refused to let him back out. When Mona finally let Cry Baby come up for air, it had worked! Mona smiled hoping Milton was so jealous he would come to her now!
But the rage inside of Milton boiled inside him and he stomped over to Cry Baby.
“Just who do you think you are?!” Milton demanded in a rage.
“What are you talking about?” Cry Baby asked, confused by Mona’s kiss and Milton’s rage.
“It isn’t enough you have Allison! You just have to take my girl too!”
“You think Mona and I are a couple?” Cry Baby laughed.
“Well, you just kissed her!”
“Mona kissed me!” Cry Baby pointed out.
“Well, if you two want each other so bad, you can have her!” Milton yelled before walking out.
Allison had happened on to the scene and had heard enough to think that Mona and Cry Baby are a couple.
“You two are seeing each other?!” Allison said in disbelief.
“No, Allison.” Cry Baby tried to explain, but she started walking away.
“Why did you do that, Mona?” Cry Baby berated her. “You and I were never seeing each other!”
As Cry Baby ran after to Allison to explain what happened, Pepper came along and noticed a dejected Mona.
“Mona, what’s wrong?” Pepper asked with concern.
“I’ve made a mess of things!” Mona said, bawling.
“I kissed your brother!”
Pepper was surprised.
“What? You said you weren’t going to go after him?” Pepper asked, confused.
“I wasn’t!” Mona tried to explain. “It was just a scheme to get Milton to notice me!”
“What do you mean?”
“I was never in love with Cry Baby!” Mona confessed. “It always been Milton!”
“Let me get this straight? You kissed my brother.” Pepper began. “But it was just a scheme to get Milton to notice you?”
“Yes. And now I’m afraid he’ll hate me for good!” Mona cried.
Pepper thought of a plan to help Mona out of her jam.
“Mona, you go on home.” Pepper told her. “I have someone to see.”
Mona did just that as Pepper went to see Milton. He just had to listen to her.